week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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