Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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