My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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