Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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