I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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