But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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