love makes seman taste better
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
