YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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