im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
