Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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