I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize