i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
