No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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