This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
