After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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