Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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