guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
