K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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