Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
