The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
