Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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