I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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