Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't deserve a penis
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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