i think my tv is drunk
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
