if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
