Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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