He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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