I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
