Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize