CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
