So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
50% drunk capacity currently
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
