I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
