Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
