So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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