K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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