You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize