What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
