ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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