You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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