You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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