While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
