She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
