I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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