i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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