I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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