He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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