remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
