R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
