I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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