Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
