Slut skills are useful in every country.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
