Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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