Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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