Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
