so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
