I got chris browned last night
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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