A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
