Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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