at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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