i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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