dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
