he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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