Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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