Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
