Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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