Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
