there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
