she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize