i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
